♥ Happy girl back in action.


Hello dearies, whoever is actually here reading my blog!♥
Cus I've no idea who actually reads my blog duh, silent readers, all no tag! :(

Well well, I'm finally back to blogging once again uh. That's stupid, I know. I always goes MIA from blog whenever I broke down. Hopefully there won't be another time though, the feeling like totally fucked up. Tsk!

I'm back, like I said. But ya, I'm back in real happy mood this time. Yup, no more cryings, no more being emotional, no more suicidal thoughts, no more. Because of someone, who made me threw away all those unhappy memories, unhappy emotions and those crazy suicidal thoughts I had previously. Yes, I really wanna thank that someone.

He's someone who :
1. Never fails to make me happy everyday.
2. Never fails to cheer me up whenever I'm down.
3. Never fails to be there for me whenever I need someone.
4. Never once wanted to give up on me even though I rejected him a few times.
5. Really put in efforts in proving how much he wanted me.
6. Really did everything he could to make me happy.
7. Really made me feel damn fucking touched by things he do & say.
8. Made me know there's still a guy who's willing to wait so long without complains nor finding other target.
9. Made me know that I'm of such importance.
Lastly 10. Made me fell in love with him unknowingly..

After me dragging everything for almost 3 months, making things difficult for him for the past 3 months, wanting him to prove to me with his actions for the past 3 months. Unlike others, keep asking me on HOW to prove without even thinking.

So yup, he did everything willingly, without me saying a single thing on what he has to do. I don't wanna share what he did, because that's suppose to be mine :) He really did ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to make me happy no matter what it takes, what it costs. Afterall that he had done, finally his dream came true, he became the dearest boyfriend of mine on 12th July'11 , 11:04pm. I love you. ♥

Thanks, Aden Chia B.P !♥

♥ I pretended to be alright.



See me smiling everyday, don't you? ^^

Do you really believe those smiles came right from the bottom of my heart? Haha, I doubt so. I ain't anywhere better at all. All I did was, bottled up everything, covered myself up with just a smile, so people around me wouldn't start worrying about me again. ^^

Every night, I still stay up late and think of you, still missing you that much. I don't think you can find another person who miss you as much as I do, cus I'm the most silly girl ever. :D

Yaaaaaaa, you should know. I've been tempting to text you, like seriously. I wanna text you, dude ! But I just can't find the courage in me to do so, cus I'm really afraid you might return me with cold replies, or perhaps you would even ignore my texts or something. Yeah, that's the only reason which is holding me back. If only you could text me, cus you know, die die I'll definitely reply you. Oh wells.

It've been 2 weeks, today is the 15th day without you. Perhaps, I'm still suffering in a way somehow. I wanna see you so much, cus I'm always wondering how've you been lately? I wanna know whether you're fine, wether you did take care of yourself. Yeah, maybe you might find me irritating by all these, but you just gotta know, I'm just caring.

Haha. 15 days of life without you, it's still counting on dude. I really miss you, fucking much. Nobody could ever understand how much is that "much" I'm talking about.

♥ Let's put up a show, for you.


Hai, back to blogging.

Yeah, totally broke down the past 13days. I fell too deep for this, far too deep from what I expected. Didn't expect myself to like, so deeply in love with him. Whoa, I really don't know what I'm doing too. Oh wells !

I emo-ed. I cried badly every single night. I can't sleep peacefully for nights. I made myself drunk late at night. I slit myself. I even thought of dying. (Y)

Anyway, I caused so much worries in so many of my friends. Seriously, sorry my dearest friends who cared about me. I'm sorry, I caused you guys to worry for me so much.. I hope I'd be alright, soon, yeah soon k. Can't promised, but I'll try.

But for now, I decided to just fake a smile through everything, just to let him know I'm okay. I know I'm not okay at all though, I know myself best. I might be smiling/laughing, but I'm still crying deep inside, sorry I'm still that upset, still that missing you. :)

But yaaa, for him, I smile, tho it's a fake one. But, better than nothing bah. :) I just wished I could see him again, someday, somewhere, right in the middle of a crowd of strangers again. Cause that feeling is so freaking awesome. :)

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYY.

I miss you, SLJJ♥