♥ I can be happy even without you.



Awfully sick. Been down and weak since yesterday, slight fever and irritating flu falls on me. & worst still, I can't even get myself fall asleep despite being so sick. It's so sickening to keep toss and turn on bed for hours, gosh.

Isn't a good day today. The moment I woke up, I checked facebook, and saw so freaking many people posting status all about results release, and low gpa they've gotten. Like what the shit, made me so afraid to even go check my results.

But still, I just went to check it earlier on. And it's just simply, total disappointment. All my modules, I got C for them. What a joke. Causing me to have such a fucked up gpa of only, 2.167. HAHAHA, I'm so dead this time.

Forget it seriously, thinking back, I really fucking hate the reason which caused all this. Never fail, I always let someone whom randomly comes into my life, and affects my mood during any of my exam period. Laugh, I deserve this myself.

Whatever it is, no point crying over spilled milk anyway. Just gotta do harder the next time, gonna stay positive ♥

`I'll wisen up myself.

♥ You're the reason to my smiles.



Starting from yesterday, I'll only be back home earliest by 11pm. Somehow this is really tiring eh? Kay, neverminds. It's just temporary for this week only :)

A day without much frown today, I love it. Your images and memories of you are running through my mind like a free-flow, non-stop. But no choice, I've to force myself to get rid of them. Sadly, I failed to get you out of my mind. So yeah, I left it there.

At least, I made myself think back of all the happy moments which I get to spent with you. Yeah, at least those images made me smiled to myself. Knowing you once cared, oh wells.

I dread to talk to you, I'm really afraid to start the conversation again. Insomnia for nights, every single day I stayed up all the way till 7am in the morning before I finally slept. One reason is, I always make sure I see you go offline in facebook before I want to sleep. Even if we're not even talking at all, I still just want to see you go offline before I off. Silly as ever, right? :)

Another new day tomorrow, and accumulating of another of us not talking. Laughs, let it be. I'm real tired, gosh.

I feels like going out, like seriously. I shall spam going out next week! Sad case, it's the very last week of holiday next week. Aw, I've yet enjoyed myself to the fullest yet y'know! I wished holiday could be extended, wouldn't it be nice? :)

`You'll never how much effort I ever put in.

♥The only reason for my love being so strong, is you.



Yesterday wasn't really a good day for me, it's just a very very fucked up day. Because it's the day whereby I got hurt by someone's word so so so deeply, yeah and I meant real fucking deep. He'll never know how hurtful are all those words to me, gosh.

Insomnia strikes me again and again, always staying up till so late, or worst still, didn't really even slept! Fuck this shit, it's annoying max for being unable to sleep when you're real tired! Crap.

You told me, love isn't about comparing who with who. Different girl different love. Well boy, in case you didn't know, I know this logic much better than you. Cus I'll never ever ever ever ever fucking mention about other guy infront of the one I love, never ever ever ever ever say "He willing to sacrifice for me, but you won't". NO WAY, I will never even say such thing to someone I love. Cause it's gonna hurt like fuck!

I guess you never even realise all those you told me are extremely hurtful max. By telling me, she would do anything for you even if she would get beaten up by her dad. Right after I said I can't. It's like, you turned one big round just to tell me she's better than me. Laughs, hurt right deep down. :)

K, everyone helping you to put in good words about you to me. But of course, some people are spamming me bad stuffs about you to me too. Whether which I want to listen, I don't give a fuck. Cause I'm already in a dilemma shit myself. A part of me, telling me you're worth waiting for and worth my being nice to. Yet another part of me, telling me you're fucking not worth my love and time. What's this siaaas?! It's like I'm really having the cute little "devil and angel" souls beside me psychoing me all about you -.-

But yaaaa, even if I've made up my mind, I'll keep that decision with myself. I won't tell you if I'm giving up on you, neither will I tell you I'm gonna hang on to you. Just wait and see for yourself, I've no comments anymore. :)

Wait, the problem is, you're NOT even my boyfriend at all sia. That's the funny thing, LOL. What a joke, I'm the joker here. Laughs. Simple, leave it to fate. As I already told you :

"What's yours will definitely be yours. No matter how hard you try, no matter how long you wait, if it's not yours, it'll never ever be. It takes two hands to clap, if one side decided to stop continue clapping with the other one day, the gap between will be bigger and bigger, by then everything will just ends eventually. It's just a matter of time."

My words, take it or leave it, up to you to decide. All I know is, whatever I say are for your own good. I just fucking want you to be happy, that's all. You're a buddhist who worships so many gods, and you believe in all those fortune life stuffs so much, so the more you should know better than me about that thing called, fate and life. :)

I said my piece, I never slept yesterday, only slept a few hours in the morning today and off to helped parents tend shop. I'm fucking tired out, just because of you. Smart me! :)

I pray hard I won't get insomnia tonight AGAIN, I'm sick of it :(

`You're not sorry.

♥ My presence to you were superficial.




Pfft.


What a saturday, boring one. Staying home on a saturday, definitely it's boring. But, it's my daddy's birthday today. Happy Birthday, daddy. I love you. :)


Didn't managed to blog yesterday, as I was away from home. Yaaaa, I was out at the east side for a day, I went all over to Eunos and ton over at Guoliang's house. Yes, cooked up a lie, staged everything out, backing up my lies to cover myself up infront of my family, just so that I could successfully keep him company for a day, throughout the whole night without having anyone to rush me home.


As usual, trained all the way down to Eunos in the noon. Slack over at his house till evening and went down to Promenade, slack at Koufu for 3 long hours with his friend, Zax. All the way till he ends work, we trained back Eunos again. And off we went to somewhere I forget, to have supper together with Zax and Guojing, Guoliang's brother.


Truthfully, I really had fun together with the 3 of them. Although I didn't really talk much with them, but at times, they're all making me laugh with whatever they says. At least I'm not frowning, or maybe, at least he's always beside me.


Walk around, slack all over. Just letting time pass. But I was getting a little tired out by then lah, weak me. Sneak back to his house at around 2am, made me feel like I'm some sort of illegal immigrant, laugh die. Just loving their double-decker bed, it's the bed I always wanted when I was still a kid! But didn't get one :( Hahaha, so yaaaa. I slept at the upper-deck, hehe.


The 3 of us, were so pig, that we slept all the way till 3pm. Power, (Y). Nothing much, just slack around again and etc. K, skipped* Just gonna skip to conclusion.


A day spent with you, it's more than what I could expect. Agreeing to ton with you, always been my answer, just that I didn't want to let you know. I kept so fucking many things from you, keeping them all to myself, not wanting you to know, at all. I'd rather I suffer myself, than to see you being in a dilemma. Everyone asking why am I being so nice to you despite all the things you did to me, even if you were to ask me this question, my answer will still be the same, "I don't know". I guess, there's no reason in my being nice to you. I just feel like it, or maybe, true enough, I love you. But like seriously I always ask myself, so what if I love you? It's just NOTHING. Just let it be. Cus afterall, I'm still the silly one here. :)


Okayyyyy, will be out celebrating daddy's birthday later on, dining out! &, I still cant fucking stop thinking of you lah nnb. You filled up my mind the whole day, despite me knowing that I'm not even in your mind. What a joke, it's the worst thing to do ever. Thinking of someone who's not thinking of you, hahaha. Give it up!


`I wished the caring side of you always lasts for long, but it never did.

♥ I lost my way on the journey to your heart.



Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyya !

Alas, I'm back to my blogging life. After being MIA from my blog since November'10. Laughs. Hm, many of you asked why my sudden decision to quit blogging.. Thanks for being so supportive and caring! Love you peeps. Yeahs, I broke down real badly back then, which was the reason why I finally decided to quit blogging and forget everything which I once blogged. :)

Kays. Currently having a wonderful one month holiday, and I'm fucking enjoying it like, totally! I gets to go out with lovely friends, I gets to sleep late & wake up late, I gets to play and play and play and enjoy life, non-stop. Who doesn't love this? :)

2 more weeks to go, before torturous school starts again. I really don't want to go back to school any longer, it's no longer a place that I yearned to go at all. True enough that I've plenty of good friends in my class, those who never fails to make me laugh and etc. Like seriously, I can't thank them enough! They're just awesome. :)

So missing the day when we had our bbq @ changi beach park last week. I suppose that's the best bbq gathering I ever had with this class, out of the 3 times. Yeahhhhhhhh, it always felt so good to have HTH talks with your classmates. We drink and drink non-stop, especially me. I didn't even stop drinking for that whole night! & that's seriously the first time I ever drank so much, so much. Vodka and Whisky, (Y) .

Alrighty, bye.

`Whatever it takes, you will still be the one I love.